Two more months down the line and 5 chemotherapy treatments behind me, I have nothing but praise for the hospital staff who have treated me. Being consulted and informed all the way along the line has made the treatment much easier to cope with and also meeting many, many other people in the same boat has been very helpful. My life has gone on more or less normally. I can't get to the gym so often as I just don't have the energy right after treatments but I am keeping it up as much as possible and have managed to play tennis twice. The PICC line in my arm doesn't seem to mind my working with weights and wielding a tennis racquet so that's a bonus. We have made more effort to do enjoyable things between treatments and have had two lovely trips to France. Friends and family have been very kind and supportive and I have learned a lot about myself in the process. I understand a lot more about friendship and how we can relate to many different people on many different levels, all helpful stuff when working with clients in the future.
I have just read a brilliant book, Mosters and Magical Sticks by Stephen Heller which has also lead me to be more adverturous in my treatments, particularly in the use of anchors.
Well, enough for now. Study calls.

Once again 3 months have passed since addressing my blog - three months during which I have been on a steep learning curve both about myself and others. After a fantastic trip to New York in early December, we enjoyed a wonderful family Christmas. Sarah came home from Carolina with her two smashing boys and Christmas dinner was cooked to perfection by my younger daughter, Heather and her family. We all had a great time together and family bonds were greatly strengthened.
Our lovely Christmas was followed by a brilliant skiing holiday in La Plagne with Heather, Gary and the two English grandchildren. Everyone skied really well, the accommodation and food were very good, the snow was plentiful and the weather was kind to us.
I was due to have a routine operation to remove a polyp on 23rd January and this is where the learning started!! Apart from having my tonsils out aged 5 and later giving birth to two daughters, I had never been in hospital, and had certainly never undergone an operation. Fortunately I was very fit indeed when I went into hospital and I had prepared myself psychologically by doing lots of positive affirmation and visualisation, accompanied by EFT (tapping) with the support of a friend and colleague from my supervision group. I felt very calm before the surgery and, indeed, it was performed extremely competently. Waking up from the anaesthetic with a very long scar indeed was a terrible shock, however! I think I thought, if I had thought at all, that I would spring lightly from my bed and carry on as normal. Alas, no. The anaesthetic made me feel queasy for days and the stitches were quite painful - it seemed I might fall apart at any moment! Nevertheless, I survived with excellent care from the nursing staff, doctors and consultant at my local hospital, all on the NHS. Brilliant. We so often hear horror stories - I have only praise and admiration for the treatment I received both then and subsequently.
On the sixth day I was released and made my way gingerly home where Roger waited on me hand and foot and many friends came to visit and sent cards. I was quite overcome with everyone's kindness and good wishes. Being an only child, I have found making friends a difficult process all my life. I think I have now learned that friends can come in many guises and different friends will share in different activities in life and relate on different levels. Suddenly I began to feel very privileged and very loved - long may it continue.
I recovered well from the surgery but unfortunately the news from the histology of the polyp was not so good. I was called back quickly to be told that I had in fact had bowel cancer and, although the surgeon was confident everything nasty had been removed, I was advised to undergo a course of chemotherapy. Something in me was not entirely surprised by this news and lots of thoughts are still buzzing around about what I might learn from this experience. Interesting too that the EFT had given me exactly what I had asked for but, much like all the jokes about the fairy and the three wishes, I hadn't asked for exactly the right things. A situation though where it is probably impossible to cover every eventuality.
The idea of being infused with poisonous drugs was anathema to me and my initial reaction was to refuse. However, having thought it over carefully, I decided it would be foolhardy not to have the chemo as an "insurance policy" against cancer returning later just because some miniscule cell had escaped into my system and, once again, my treatment under the NHS was faultless. Everything was explained clearly and support was offered at every stage of the process.
Although I practice self hypnosis, I felt I needed additional support with this and so visited a friend and colleague, Bridget Herbert who is a Reiki Master, hypnotherapist and healer, www.healing-house.co.uk. Bridget works with many different disciplines and her treatment enabled me to clarify my thoughts and to feel calm, comforted and completely healed in many different ways. And I continue to work with the visualisations and positive thoughts she gave me.
I have had my first session of chemotherapy which, whilst not pleasant, was certainly tolerable. It remains to be seen how it progresses, but once again I am practising my tapping daily for a range of positive outcomes. One important thing I have learned is to enjoy today. I have often said to clients, "You cannot change the past and you do not have control over the future. The only real time is now" and, finally, I have begun to practise what I preached and to really enjoy the moment. Having spent a lifetime thinking about what I was going to do next, it has been a hard lesson to learn, but a very worthwhile one.
I continue to see clients and will do, making appointments during the intervening weeks and I feel sure that my experiences will deepen and enhance my work.

When I first qualified as a hypnotherapist, I believed I could cure any ill, no matter how deep-seated - in one session. The more I practise and the more clients I see, the more I realise that clients only reveal their issues little by little. I have just seen a client for a driving phobia. Only on the second session did I discover the embedded limiting beliefs about duty and taking inappropriate responsibility for others that were making every car journey a very anxious experience - would some mistake she made cause injury to others? She wasn't worried about herself, only about any problems her actions may cause. And this was a common feature in all aspects of her life. She took care of everyone, but she never took care of herself. Could I have discovered that in one session? Maybe, or maybe I should have just "done the hypnotherapy" and let her subconscious take care of the rest.

I believe it is really important for a client to leave after the first session feeling that something fundamental has changed for them. But the root of the problem.. that could take a little longer. It is generally recognised that 90% of change in any therapy is brought about by the therapeutic relationship - Roger's "unconditional, positive regard" that every client deserves and every therapist, whatever their proclivity, should be able to deliver to each and every client. If you can't provide this, then no change can take place. How can we respond positively to someone we suspect despises or, at the very least, isn't in tune with our view of the world? Of course we can't. To make changes we have to feel respected, heard and valued.

So, every client is a new learning process. Every client is unique and deserves a completely unique approach, tailored specifically to his or her needs. That's what I sincerely try my very best to deliver.

Just back from a wonderful trip to the US. I was really not looking forward to going, although it would be hard to define why. Long flights, trip on to Seattle, time changes, plane changes - I was feeling I had been a bit over ambitious. But what a worthwhile experience. My daughter in Carolina looks wonderful. It was so lovely to see her happy and full of life. Of course, it's not all plain sailing - bringing up two boys on your own is not an easy option, but she has good friends and good support and is really doing well and has found her own sense of style and self worth. We are all looking forward to seeing her again at Christmas.
My trip to Seattle was also lovely. It's some years since I was there and, despite the weather, I had forgotten what a beautiful city it is. Two solid days of catching up with my best friend was so rewarding, alongside meeting her smashing children and eating good food - not always possible in the US, I find. Visting old haunts, including the wonderful Pike Place Market with its fabulous fruit and veg., not to mention the famous fish trower! Despite a few flight glitches - I wish a fellow passenger hadn't told us they were sticking the wing up with duck tape!! - it was an exceptionally rewarding trip.

The Practitioner Peer Support Day yesterday went very well. Quality not quantity was the order of the day when seven hypnotherapists met to exchange ideas, learn about "regressing to cause" and instant inductions, celebrate their successes and accept suggestions on how to deal with clients who are complex or "stuck". Despite a lower number of participants than I had anticipated, the day was very enjoyable and very informative. I am planning a third PPSD on Sunday, 27th January 2008 and once again anyone interested in attending can contact me at jose@mindtochange.co.uk. This cost is £25 per person.

Once again a long time has elapsed since my last posting. I had intended to review some interesting case studies in this blog but have been so busy with clients I've had no time to write about them!

I have seen some exceptionally interesting clients this year, making my work very rewarding. In the summer I had to change my supervisor as my friend of some 10 years retired. I am looking forward to working with my new supervisor, a man this time.

I have established a peer support group for hypnotherists, under the auspices of the General Hypnotherapy Register. The group meets every 4 to 6 weeks and is going well. It is usually attended by about 6 local therapists of varying disciplines, although all are trained in hypnotherapy.

This coming, Sunday, 30th September, I am covening a Practitioner Peer Support Day for the south east area of the country in Woking. I have attended some very interesting days put on by Dominic Beirne in Warwickshire and decided something similar in the south east area would be welcome. Anyone interested in attending either this or subsequent Practitioner Support days, please contact me at jose@mindtochange.co.uk. The next will be later on in January 2008. The days run from 10.30 am to 4 pm. Refreshments are provided throughout the day and there are many places to lunch nearby.

A couple of weeks ago I received my first ever complaint from a client. I was surprised how hurt I felt, particularly as I had worked really hard to help this woman. As is so often the case, the presenting issue was not really the root of the problem. The experience brought, of course, new learning. It reminded me that therapy of any kind is not magic. However skilled the therapist, the client must come with an open mind, a willingness to change and be prepared to work with the therapist to facilitate that change.

I have just found a brilliant website, http://kenwarren.com.au, recommended by the General Hypnotherapy Standards Council - www.general-hypnotherapy-register.com. Ken Warren's site is full of interesting and helpful information for therapists setting up in practice and has given me new inspiration and determination to succeed! Havng leafleted a whole estate about losing weight and stopping smoking earlier this month, I was feeling quite despondent at the lack of response. Looking at Ken's material I'm all fired up and full of ideas again! Rome wasn't built in a day, as they say.

Off to put new efforts into getting myself out there. And if you want to lose weight, stop smoking, feel more relaxed or say good bye to depression, then visit my website, www.mindtochange.co.uk or, better still, give me a call.

Well here we are at the start of a new year and everyone will have promised themselves they will lose weight, stop smoking and do the one hundred other things they promise themselves they’ll do every year – and a month later will all be out the window!! Unless, of course, they have sought the help and support of a hypnotherapist! www.mindtochange.co.uk

The 2007 Health Bill will completely ban smoking in most public spaces and workplaces and includes outlawing the provision of smoking areas at work. There will be very limited exceptions to the ban, notably private homes, residential care homes, hotel rooms, prisons and hospitals. Employers may provide an outdoor area for smokers but there is no legal obligation on them to do so.

This smoke-free legislation is being introduced because tobacco smoke is now recognised to be the single greatest preventable risk to health. It causes 30% or all cancer deaths, 84% of lung cancer deaths, 17% of deaths from heart disease and 80% of deaths from bronchitis and emphysema. Smoking is responsible for more than 100,000 deaths in Britain each year.

Smoking can also seriously affect business productivity. A smoker may take up to 6 ten minute breaks per day, resulting in the loss of one hour a day or 5 hours in a week. Non smokers may resent the fact that smokers are taking more breaks and begin to take more or longer breaks themselves, thus damaging both productivity and staff morale in a company. Staff who are exposed to smoke, whether they be smokers or non smokers, are likely to be ill more often and may also take longer to recover.

However, the introduction of this anti smoking legislation may be just the incentive some people need to encourage them to give up smoking and hypnotherapy can help.

The majority of smokers start smoking when they are young and before long it becomes an addictive habit. As with any habit, it is difficult to break through willpower alone because it becomes an integral part of who you are. You rely on cigarettes in certain situations or associate them with certain friends or activities. Once this habit is established, it is no longer within conscious control. Non smokers don’t crave or even think about cigarettes because they just are not in their mind set.

Hypnotherapy is designed to take away the desire to smoke. Instead of feeling they are giving up something they enjoy, people feel they are getting rid of something they don’t want – a much more positive idea.

Hypnotherapy has a high success rate with smoking cessation and stopping smoking is one of the most common reasons why people consult a hypnotherapist. Clients are encouraged not to dwell on the negative aspects of smoking, but to aim for positive outcomes such as fitness, freedom, energy and good health!

So, if you want to help yourself, friends or family to stop smoking or, indeed, to stick to other New Year’s resolutions this time round, then contact me by email: jose@mindtochange.co.uk

Well, this was an interesting day. I've achieved a lot and had some great new ideas about marketing all of my own. Two promising client sessions as well. My "to do"list is reducing and I'm feeling up beat and positive. My core Process words, Embracing Freedom, seem to be opening up new opportunities for me all the time.
I am wondering what's the best use I could make of this blog? Maybe some hints and tips for coping with every day life would be a good start. I shall think on....
Meanwhile, you might like to follow the link:

www.mindtochange.co.uk

Well, that last entry was optimistic! Here we are at 21st November and this is the first whole day I have spent on my new venture! So much for my vision of rising early and going to my office, fired with enthusiasm to start work on my long "to do" list!
Still, the time hasn't been wasted. I've achieved lots of practical, household tasks and also been to visit dear Sas, who's doing well in her new single mum role. Such a relaxing trip, enjoying the beautiful fall colours and getting reacquainted with the grandchildren across the pond. Great to see them so much more relaxed and happy - even the dogs have picked up on the new calm atmosphere!
Now to matters of work - clients are flowing in steadily and I have had two really excellent successes this week, one client with a fear of heights whose session went particularly well. The second a client on his third session of treatment for anxiety and panic attacks who is feeling much calmer and has begun to make some important changes in his life. It is so good to see people responding and finding a new way forward.
Since learning my Core Process - Embracing Freedom (see www.flameinstitute.com) I have found a new confidence in myself and my abilities as a therapist. I have always believed that, with the right approach and support, everyone can reach their own potential and so now I am using my core process to enable others to embrace freedom too.
Now it's back to the "to do" list to knock off a few more tasks before lunch!

Well, only 7 days to go to 'R' day when I shall finally be free to prioritise my own time and welcome many new clients to my therapy practice. And at last I'll be able to fully realise my Core Process, Embracing Freedom! Exciting times. I can't remember a time in my adult life when I was free to organise my life just as I wished. Always the constraints and demands of work and children. I know there will still be commitments and deadlines and discipline if I am to succeed - but they will, I hope be under my control - no longer dancing to the tune of others.
Watch this space.

Well, they say you shouldn't go back and we certainly should not have gone back to the Blue Lake. The last time we were there (which we now realise was about 16 years ago – how time flies when you're having fun) the evening sun shone warmly down on us as we sipped our aperos on the terrace overlooking the lake. As we ate an exquisite meal, the sun was replaced by a full moon. We were served wine by a charming young man training to be a sommelier, who was mortified when the cork broke in half as he withdrew it from the bottle. Ah, what a wonderful evening. No wonder we were tempted to return and relive this idyllic scene. We envisaged reclining in the sun beside the lake and even took our swimming cosies ready for a refreshing dip.

Alas, in the interim so much had changed. We sploshed down the long drive through deep puddles as the rain poured down. Our little Sprite, now 40 years old and not used to being out in wet weather, leaked through every orifice. Water in the foot wells lapped over our feet as we struggled out and dashed with our bags across the waterlogged terrace, occasionally slapped around the head by dripping trees. We were shown to our room, where the sound of a constant stream of water escaping from a hole in the guttering on the nearby outhouse drowned out the sound of the pouring rain. Never mind, we were looking forward to a wonderful meal. Had we but known!

Dinner was served at 7.30 and there was no way a drop of drink or meagre crust would pass our lips before that time. We could see the proprietor, clad in his apron, petting the three resident dogs in the kitchen, as he began preparing the meal. The proprietress moved at a pace slower than that of a snail, except when she spent a happy ten minutes ignoring all the other diners whilst she chatted animatedly to some old friends already seated. Eventually she brought the menu and an aperitif, accompanied by some very old and stale cocktail biscuits and peanuts of the same era.

Eagerly we opened the menu, only to find that it was not only very expensive by French standards but seemed to consist entirely of duck in every form imaginable – and some which are not! Roast duck, smoked duck, fois gras of duck, ducks' gizzards – what ever can be done to a duck, they'd done it! (We immediately resolved to eat elsewhere the following evening.) We struggled through our disappointing duck in semi darkness as they were clearly economising on lighting and rain continued to pour down outside. Breakfast was also served in darkness – obviously lighting was not permitted between the hours of dawn and dusk!

This paragraph should, of course, open with the words: “The following day dawned bright and clear.” Sadly it did not – the rain continued to rain non stop. Fortunately it takes a lot more than rain and duck to dampen our spirits but next time we're tempted to revisit romantic old haunts, someone please remind us to resist the temptation and try somewhere new!

What a super weekend, and completely unexpected as I wasn't looking forward to it at all. Very relaxing and achieved everything I wanted to. It was good to see the dentist so calm and so much happier than earlier in the year. Also to spend time with JS and have the courage to be honest with her about her situation. I am wondering whether it is worth writing to reinforce that only she can help herself. The NHS could provide the best service in the world, RMS could nag her or help her every day, but she is the only one who can bring about improvements in her health. No-one can do the exercises for her - it's her muscles that need to strengthen and develop and only she is the only one who can do that for herself. At least she recognises that something needs to be done now and maybe her visit to someone in similar cirucumstances will spur her on.
It was a beautiful day yesterday too and the garden looks good, especially the back which is developing into an attractive area at last. All in all a very successful three days.

Super evening with H, G and grandies yesterday. What a smashing family. So pleased to have permission to take No. 1 skiing in Jan. He really excelled this year. Hope we will be joined by a parent - which one is up to them to decide.
One thing missing from the summer is our usual boat trip, not that it would have been easy to fit one in. TTB took the Sword down to Spain - his last big trip, he says, and hopefully had a good time. We have had good fun together over the years, but somehow the Midget episode has soured it all a little. Still, life moves on and things change - that's how it is. If we resist change or try to remain still, we'll just suffocate.

Again it's a while since I added my thoughts here. September today and the summer is almost over - a good one though with many sunny days in France with friends and super grandchildren. Happy memories of amazing sandcastles, oysters and white wine and, earlier on, learning to tolerate the excentricities of friends without spoiling a holiday. Also not quite knowing whether to be flattered or annoyed that my very ex ex has trawled through my sites and clearly committed the content to memory - strange chap!
But now it's time to look forward to embracing the freedom to focus on growing my successful therapy practice to its full potential.... and helping my clients to realise their full potential too. I'm looking forward to learning and training opportunities and to providing appropriate, individual, solution focused therapy in a tranquil environment.

What a change for the better since learning my core process words, Embracing Freedom. I have made some conscious changes and other things are happening - all positive. Reviewing posts from earlier this year, how different I feel now. Client numbers have increased dramatically, I finally feel in control of my destiny and am looking forward to exploring lots of new ventures in the future, now that I am free of my limiting, draining employment. Onwards and upwards - where to next, I wonder!

Mindweaver's Musings
Feeling really low today about disagreement with Heath. Not inclined to call her or think about a birthday card or present. I guess it will heal in time. I feel really let down at the moment though. And my finger hurts - that'll teach me to act like a teenager!

Mindweaver's Musings
Returned from a fantastic skiing holiday, restored by fresh new snow and brilliant sunshine. Great tributes from all participants, except my darling daughter who wanted more of me. Kids - we never get it right! Ah well, move on, I suppose and don't allow the great memories of super skiing and company be spoiled by one person's negative feedback.
Good news that I can offer a client with PTSD 5 sessions through her insurance company. I am looking foward to working with this young girl and helping her regain her confidence and equilibrium.
Working on my flyer offering free taster sessions of life coaching and hypnotherapy. No so sure about the hypnotherapy, as one session is often enough to effect a dramatic change. Also planning to publish info. about the coaching evaluation project - more of that later.

Sharing my thoughts and ideas with the world out there. A week of new experiences - first Skype, now a blog. Where will it all end?
More later .........