Awoke on Saturday morning to a faint glimmer of light through the closed curtains and the sound of distant gunfire as the French hunters decimate the wildlife on the Marais du Cotentin! A persistent buzzing emanates from the rafters - a large insect trapped in a small space - let's hope it stays there.

We have come to the Mud Hut on this occasion principally to wage war on the Cluster flies , which have been a real nuisance this year. Having suffered a literal plague in April and October, we researched on the Internet (www.the-piedpiper.co.uk/th6e.htm) and found that they lay their eggs in the bodies of earthworms but roost or overwinter in loft areas or walls. We have always noticed a few flies in the Spring and Autumn but this year they must have invited all their families and friends to share our roof space!

We came armed with a powerful insecticide "bomb" which we set off in the morning and quickly left to work for 3 hours while we vacated the premises. We seem to have caught quite a few flies and will be leaving a milder (and safer) insecticide spray going at intervals for a few weeks to hopefully finish the job. We will also leave bunches of rosemary and bowls of lavender as apparently strong smelling herbs act as a repellent and discourage the flies from entering in the first place.

Sadly we seem to have caused the death of a variety of spiders and other harmless insects: lacewings, a ladybird, a very large wasp and a few moths and shield bugs, which must have also been innocently sheltering in our mud walls and boarded rafters.

Sunday was a beautiful day and we took time off from painting the now not so new shower room to wander over the Marais de Sangsuriere, which we had not explored before. We watched a flock of starlings wheeling and diving in a black cloud, constantly changing shape, and a few sandpipers rose in the air as we walked. The marsh near our house is already flooded, reflecting a blue, blue sky and piles of fluffy white clouds in its icy waters. Beautiful, peaceful, relaxing and restorative.

I have been thinking this week a lot about friendships. I am an only child and was kept quite isolated when I was young, only being allowed to mix with children of my parents' friends. I remember this as a really distressing experience, as they knew each other and went to school together and I was a complete outsider.

When I was 9 we moved from Devon to Surrey and I had great trouble making friends at school. Looking back I now see that I really wanted to have one special friend, rather than a group and when I did find a friend, I found it very difficult to share her with others.

This actually carried on throughout my life and up until about two years ago I would have numbered the people I considered my friends on the fingers of one hand. I found it very difficult to share friends with others and also it was hard to be with two special people at the same time - my partner and my best friend, for example. I know years ago I just could not juggle the demands of my father and my then husband.

Recently though I have had a revelation. I am suddenly learning (and I really don't know why or how this change has come about) that I actually have many friends, or certainly people who consider me their friend and whom I am now very happy to call my friends. I have met them through may different activities: sport, work, volunteering, networking and by taking part in my partner's hobbies. I am suddenly finding getting to know people interesting and fun and have never felt so supported and loved... and I am a much happier and more relaxed person as a result. a win - win revelation, you might say.

So, my message, it is important to be aware of other's love and appreciation of you and to value them as special people in your life.

I've recently been reminded that it's so easy to slip into patterns of behaviour without even noticing until, one day months or even years down the line, we find ourselves in a place we definitely don't want to be with no idea how we got there. A very frightening experience and one that demands courage and determination to change.

We often blame those around us for where we end up - partner, children, boss or friends - but the reality is we ourselves are to blame and the first step towards getting back the life we really want is to recognise this. I always tell clients who grumble about or blame others in their life for their situation, that in my therapy room we cannot change another person, however much we moan about them. The solution lies within ourselves and what we can change is the way we react to those irritating or destructive others. If we no longer allow them to push our buttons, then there will be no pay off for them in attempting to wind us up or put us down. Likewise, if we forge ahead doing everything the moment it seems to need doing, jumping in and taking control of every situation, then others never have a chance to help - or to shine.

When we decide to take a back seat at least some of the time and allow others to develop and show their skills, everyone will be happier and we will have more time to take care of ourselves and enjoy some of the fun and replenishing activities we haven't had time for for quite a while.

Ask yourself if this is you. If it is, then acknowledge what changes you need to make to take care of yourself as well as those around you.