Well, I have finally completed my 12 sessions of chemotherapy and had my PICC line removed yesterday. What a relief. I am quite proud of myself for surviving it so well but it was beginning to take a toll psychologically towards the end. Walking into that hospital with all its strange smells, pumps and bags of chemo and knowing that I would come out feeling not better but worse was really hard to deal with - much harder in fact than the physical effects of the treatment. This morning I was able to bath with abandon, no longer having to worry about keeping my right arm above the water - what a blessed relief.

In contrast to the debilitating physical and psychological effects of the treatment, I have nothing but praise for the staff of the chemotherapy ward. They were unfailingly helpful, considerate, efficient and informative. In fact all the treatment I have received under the NHS, which so many people choose to denigrate, has been brilliant. Sometimes in Britian we forget to talk up the good stuff, being all to ready to dwell on the bad.

That's something I regularly tell my clients, particularly those presenting with depression. I set them the task of buying a special diary and faithfully recording at the end of each day at least three good things that have happened to them, even if it was just a smile from a passer by. It is just so easy to dwell on the negative aspects of the day. Likewise, if you make a bad shot or move in your chosen sport, don't fear making another bad one. Immediately turn your attention to the last brilliant shot you made and focus on that. It will unfailingly lift your mood and improve your performance. Try it out. It works.

A couple of weeks ago I sent out one of my regular evaluation forms to clients I have seen in the past 6 - 9 months. I do this to get feed back from clients on a range of things such as suitability of my premises, ease of getting an appointment, successful outcome of therapy provided, whether any unexpected changes or benefits have occurred following the sessions with me. This enables me to make adjustments and improvements to my techniques and to assess what worked well and what did not.

Even though I supply a self addressed, stamped envelope with each letter, the return rate of the evaluation is usually pretty low, around 3%. However, on this occasion in the first few days I was delighted to receive a 10% response, with replies still coming in. Comments have all been positive with a weight loss client remarking: "It was so good to talk in a relaxed atmosphere to another woman and get answers to some questions that had been troubling me." From a young man devastated by the shocking and unexpected death of his father: "Talking through the sudden loss of my father and its impact on the family has been a great help. I was very impressed by Jose and her style." From a nurse who had had some difficulties with her employer, including the threat of redundancy: "Six weeks after completing my counselling I was back in my previous role but in another speciality and am now better placed career wise than before. Thank you."

It is good to receive feedback, more so, of course, if it is positive. It's interesting that sometimes when I feel I have achieved nothing with a client, they report back later that they have been able to make great changes for the better in their lives. I honestly believe that many people talk about their problems - to family, friends and colleagues - but they very seldom feel heard whereas I, as a trained counsellor and hypnotherapist with many years experience now behind me, am able to give them the "unconditional, positive regard" talked about by Carl Rogers and certainly also practiced by the great hypnotherapist, Milton Erickson on whose work my own therapeutic practice is firmly based. I read recently the quotation, by whom I do not know, "To talk is to heal." And this is so true. Clients often say that, having unloaded many of their troubles in the first therapy session where they really feel heard, they then have so much more energy to deal with life. It's as if space is freed up in the brain which can be put to good use.

Of course, I really believe it is important to tailor the therapeutic approach to the individual client and study and experience of many different techniques means I can readily do this, using Emotional Freedom Technique, Neuro-Linguistic Programming, Time Line Therapy, Hypnotherapy and Counselling skills as appropriate, combined with deep relaxation, guided imagery and visualisation to enable clients to bring about changes very safely.

To ensure the safety of all my clients, and maintain my own mental wellbeing, I receive regular one to one supervision from a qualified supervisor with whom I can discuss my clients without identifying them. In addition I convene a Peer Support Group for local hypnotherapists in Guildford, Woking and surrounding areas where again, we may bring client issues, anonymously, of course, and also demonstrate and discuss new or particularly successful techniques we have tried. Members of this group are all hypnotherapists but most also practice in another area as well. For example we have a herbalist, a reflexologist, a healer, and an analytical hypnotherapist. In both areas of supervision, complete client confidentiality is assured.

If you would like more information about my work or about the Supervision/Peer Support Group, which is accredited by the General Hypnotherapy Register, please email me at jose@mindtochange.co.uk.

Last night I went on a very enjoyable "Netwalk" with Ecademy's Breath of Fresh Air Club. The walk was organised by Jenny Littlejohn of www.biglifecoaching.co.uk and Tom Evans of www.psycademy.co.uk. The walk was not a strenuous one, along the banks of the River Wey at Guildford. Participants broke into groups of 4 or 5 and each person had twenty minutes to talk about a business problem they are currently facing. The other members of the group then brainstormed solutions. This open air thinking combined with a healthy walk in the countryside brings forth some brilliant resolution of problems and members always come away re-enthused and invigorated. The evening is complete with a pleasant meal and drink or two at a local pub where further networking and exchange of ideas takes place.

For more information contact either of the above organisers - an evening to be recommended. More strenuous walks are also arranged in the Surrey Hills or in the early morning, finishing with a hearty networking breakfast.

Six treatments behind me now and gearing up for the seventh, I am surprised to find my attitude to the chemotherapy has very much changed for the better. I felt quite different when entering the hospital last time and that seems to be reflected in the way I reacted to the chemotherapy. I had visited my friend, Bridget of Healing House for a further healing treatment, http://www.healing-house.co.uk/. She combines many different techniques and is very intuitive and I have found her help invaluable. Visualisation is such a powerful tool that we can all use to help our bodies heal and recover as well as increase confidence, motivation and generally increase the "feel good factor" in our lives.
With Bridget's help, I have been reflecting on why I might have got the cancer in the first place and changes I can choose to make in my life. A lot stems from my relationship with my mother and, once I had reflected and acknowledged this, I began to see things from a different perspective. The recent visit of a very dear friend from the US has increased my understanding and has also introduced new ideas I can use with my own clients, of which I seem to have a steady stream at the moment.
I have have found a new enthusiasm and motivation for treating clients and am full of new ideas at the moment. The small Peer Support Group for hypnotherapists which meets at my home regularly is also a source of support and inspiration. It is so valuable to share ideas and techniques with others and this group works well as we all have different specialities - healing, herbalism, life coaching, reflexology - but are also all hypnotherapists. At our meeting last week we were discusing the value of being able to incorporate a range of different treatments - Time Line, Emotional Freedom Technique, Eye Movement Desensitisation, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Hypnotherapy, Neuro Linguistic Programming to name but a few - into our work with clients. If you are interested in finding out more about this group or how to set one up yourself, then please contact me through my website, http://www.mindtochange.co.uk/.

Two more months down the line and 5 chemotherapy treatments behind me, I have nothing but praise for the hospital staff who have treated me. Being consulted and informed all the way along the line has made the treatment much easier to cope with and also meeting many, many other people in the same boat has been very helpful. My life has gone on more or less normally. I can't get to the gym so often as I just don't have the energy right after treatments but I am keeping it up as much as possible and have managed to play tennis twice. The PICC line in my arm doesn't seem to mind my working with weights and wielding a tennis racquet so that's a bonus. We have made more effort to do enjoyable things between treatments and have had two lovely trips to France. Friends and family have been very kind and supportive and I have learned a lot about myself in the process. I understand a lot more about friendship and how we can relate to many different people on many different levels, all helpful stuff when working with clients in the future.
I have just read a brilliant book, Mosters and Magical Sticks by Stephen Heller which has also lead me to be more adverturous in my treatments, particularly in the use of anchors.
Well, enough for now. Study calls.

Once again 3 months have passed since addressing my blog - three months during which I have been on a steep learning curve both about myself and others. After a fantastic trip to New York in early December, we enjoyed a wonderful family Christmas. Sarah came home from Carolina with her two smashing boys and Christmas dinner was cooked to perfection by my younger daughter, Heather and her family. We all had a great time together and family bonds were greatly strengthened.
Our lovely Christmas was followed by a brilliant skiing holiday in La Plagne with Heather, Gary and the two English grandchildren. Everyone skied really well, the accommodation and food were very good, the snow was plentiful and the weather was kind to us.
I was due to have a routine operation to remove a polyp on 23rd January and this is where the learning started!! Apart from having my tonsils out aged 5 and later giving birth to two daughters, I had never been in hospital, and had certainly never undergone an operation. Fortunately I was very fit indeed when I went into hospital and I had prepared myself psychologically by doing lots of positive affirmation and visualisation, accompanied by EFT (tapping) with the support of a friend and colleague from my supervision group. I felt very calm before the surgery and, indeed, it was performed extremely competently. Waking up from the anaesthetic with a very long scar indeed was a terrible shock, however! I think I thought, if I had thought at all, that I would spring lightly from my bed and carry on as normal. Alas, no. The anaesthetic made me feel queasy for days and the stitches were quite painful - it seemed I might fall apart at any moment! Nevertheless, I survived with excellent care from the nursing staff, doctors and consultant at my local hospital, all on the NHS. Brilliant. We so often hear horror stories - I have only praise and admiration for the treatment I received both then and subsequently.
On the sixth day I was released and made my way gingerly home where Roger waited on me hand and foot and many friends came to visit and sent cards. I was quite overcome with everyone's kindness and good wishes. Being an only child, I have found making friends a difficult process all my life. I think I have now learned that friends can come in many guises and different friends will share in different activities in life and relate on different levels. Suddenly I began to feel very privileged and very loved - long may it continue.
I recovered well from the surgery but unfortunately the news from the histology of the polyp was not so good. I was called back quickly to be told that I had in fact had bowel cancer and, although the surgeon was confident everything nasty had been removed, I was advised to undergo a course of chemotherapy. Something in me was not entirely surprised by this news and lots of thoughts are still buzzing around about what I might learn from this experience. Interesting too that the EFT had given me exactly what I had asked for but, much like all the jokes about the fairy and the three wishes, I hadn't asked for exactly the right things. A situation though where it is probably impossible to cover every eventuality.
The idea of being infused with poisonous drugs was anathema to me and my initial reaction was to refuse. However, having thought it over carefully, I decided it would be foolhardy not to have the chemo as an "insurance policy" against cancer returning later just because some miniscule cell had escaped into my system and, once again, my treatment under the NHS was faultless. Everything was explained clearly and support was offered at every stage of the process.
Although I practice self hypnosis, I felt I needed additional support with this and so visited a friend and colleague, Bridget Herbert who is a Reiki Master, hypnotherapist and healer, www.healing-house.co.uk. Bridget works with many different disciplines and her treatment enabled me to clarify my thoughts and to feel calm, comforted and completely healed in many different ways. And I continue to work with the visualisations and positive thoughts she gave me.
I have had my first session of chemotherapy which, whilst not pleasant, was certainly tolerable. It remains to be seen how it progresses, but once again I am practising my tapping daily for a range of positive outcomes. One important thing I have learned is to enjoy today. I have often said to clients, "You cannot change the past and you do not have control over the future. The only real time is now" and, finally, I have begun to practise what I preached and to really enjoy the moment. Having spent a lifetime thinking about what I was going to do next, it has been a hard lesson to learn, but a very worthwhile one.
I continue to see clients and will do, making appointments during the intervening weeks and I feel sure that my experiences will deepen and enhance my work.