Once again 3 months have passed since addressing my blog - three months during which I have been on a steep learning curve both about myself and others. After a fantastic trip to New York in early December, we enjoyed a wonderful family Christmas. Sarah came home from Carolina with her two smashing boys and Christmas dinner was cooked to perfection by my younger daughter, Heather and her family. We all had a great time together and family bonds were greatly strengthened.
Our lovely Christmas was followed by a brilliant skiing holiday in La Plagne with Heather, Gary and the two English grandchildren. Everyone skied really well, the accommodation and food were very good, the snow was plentiful and the weather was kind to us.
I was due to have a routine operation to remove a polyp on 23rd January and this is where the learning started!! Apart from having my tonsils out aged 5 and later giving birth to two daughters, I had never been in hospital, and had certainly never undergone an operation. Fortunately I was very fit indeed when I went into hospital and I had prepared myself psychologically by doing lots of positive affirmation and visualisation, accompanied by EFT (tapping) with the support of a friend and colleague from my supervision group. I felt very calm before the surgery and, indeed, it was performed extremely competently. Waking up from the anaesthetic with a very long scar indeed was a terrible shock, however! I think I thought, if I had thought at all, that I would spring lightly from my bed and carry on as normal. Alas, no. The anaesthetic made me feel queasy for days and the stitches were quite painful - it seemed I might fall apart at any moment! Nevertheless, I survived with excellent care from the nursing staff, doctors and consultant at my local hospital, all on the NHS. Brilliant. We so often hear horror stories - I have only praise and admiration for the treatment I received both then and subsequently.
On the sixth day I was released and made my way gingerly home where Roger waited on me hand and foot and many friends came to visit and sent cards. I was quite overcome with everyone's kindness and good wishes. Being an only child, I have found making friends a difficult process all my life. I think I have now learned that friends can come in many guises and different friends will share in different activities in life and relate on different levels. Suddenly I began to feel very privileged and very loved - long may it continue.
I recovered well from the surgery but unfortunately the news from the histology of the polyp was not so good. I was called back quickly to be told that I had in fact had bowel cancer and, although the surgeon was confident everything nasty had been removed, I was advised to undergo a course of chemotherapy. Something in me was not entirely surprised by this news and lots of thoughts are still buzzing around about what I might learn from this experience. Interesting too that the EFT had given me exactly what I had asked for but, much like all the jokes about the fairy and the three wishes, I hadn't asked for exactly the right things. A situation though where it is probably impossible to cover every eventuality.
The idea of being infused with poisonous drugs was anathema to me and my initial reaction was to refuse. However, having thought it over carefully, I decided it would be foolhardy not to have the chemo as an "insurance policy" against cancer returning later just because some miniscule cell had escaped into my system and, once again, my treatment under the NHS was faultless. Everything was explained clearly and support was offered at every stage of the process.
Although I practice self hypnosis, I felt I needed additional support with this and so visited a friend and colleague, Bridget Herbert who is a Reiki Master, hypnotherapist and healer, www.healing-house.co.uk. Bridget works with many different disciplines and her treatment enabled me to clarify my thoughts and to feel calm, comforted and completely healed in many different ways. And I continue to work with the visualisations and positive thoughts she gave me.
I have had my first session of chemotherapy which, whilst not pleasant, was certainly tolerable. It remains to be seen how it progresses, but once again I am practising my tapping daily for a range of positive outcomes. One important thing I have learned is to enjoy today. I have often said to clients, "You cannot change the past and you do not have control over the future. The only real time is now" and, finally, I have begun to practise what I preached and to really enjoy the moment. Having spent a lifetime thinking about what I was going to do next, it has been a hard lesson to learn, but a very worthwhile one.
I continue to see clients and will do, making appointments during the intervening weeks and I feel sure that my experiences will deepen and enhance my work.