I may have talked before about the Rewind Technique which is such a very useful tool in treating phobias and also PTSD. It seems a bit awkward and cumbersome to administer but it is almost magic in its effectiveness. I am enthusing about it now as I have just used it very successfully with a client who was raped many years ago. She thought that she had put the incident behind her and recovered from it but a chance comment about her weight by a colleague suddenly brought the trauma back vividly. She tried to cope with these intrusive thoughts by behaving quite out of character in a way that would jeopardise her lovely family relationship and also compromise her work life. We used the visual/kinaesthetic dissociation technique (VKD) or Fast Phobia Cure accompanied by a deep relaxation. The technique enables the brain to reprocess the trauma and place it safely away in the memory in the "back of the mind" where it can no longer send damaging and intrusive thoughts into the client's day to day life. Such a very rewarding process.

I guess we can't like every client we see but we do have to enable them to feel worthwhile and valued - sometimes a challenge. It's good to take a step back from your initial reaction and leave some time and space to understand what "pushed your buttons".

Health and Confidence Issues

In the past week I have received two excellent and completely unsolicited testimonials which are really gratifying to read. The first is from the mother of a young woman who for several years had been subject to severe attacks of stomach pain and vomiting which were seriously interfering with her personal life as well as her studies. She came to see me very tired from a transatlantic trip (she is currently studying full time in the US) and this is what her mother reported about 6 weeks after the session: We are delighted to say that C hasn't had any "incidents" or "issues" since she came to you, whereas she would have had several a week and felt fairly rotten a lot of the time. She didn't even have a blip this week when she was sitting a major exam! We did buy her some very good probiotic tablets to help re-line her gut, but they would only repair the damage caused by her stomach upsets so full credit to you - again! Likewise I was approached through my website by a young man who is progressing in his career and finding making presentations daunting. He knows his subject well but also realises the importance of appearing confident in front of peers, managers and clients. Again, we did one session into which I built an anchor by which he could easily a confident time. Here is his feedback: I've been meaning to write you earlier but it was a bit busy. I am really happy to tell you I did very well in my presentation and it was truly on much better level, thank you :). To be honest, while I was waiting for my turn to speak in the presentation I was as nervous as I've always been, that's probably because of my past experience. However, the minute I started talking, it was all smooth and I was not nervous at all. I was on top of it and most of all breathing was truly natural. I held a pen in my hand to remind myself of the moment, I think this is similar to the wrist band that you've mentioned. So, an individual, tailored sessions of hypnotherapy can be very helpful indeed with a wide range of different issues.

I have recently been seeing a very interesting, talented and complex client. He presented with a deep and troubling depression which has recurred two or three times in recent years. Like many clients that I see, he was reluctant to take antidepressants, believing that he needed to gain an understanding of the underlying cause for his recurring dark moods in order to recover. Working with him has been challenging but also a pleasure as he has worked hard himself between sessions to achieve his goals. Just before our final session, he sent me the following testimonial: Just a note to say thank you for all of your help. You must have a lot of patience for your job and that is a commendation for you. I feel that by vocalising my thoughts I have learnt a lot about my difficulties, some of the reasons for them and now have a better understanding. I feel also that some of the questions that you have asked me have been very thought provoking and enabled me to kind of "put a jigsaw" of it all together much more. I now feel that my future progress is a questions of careful "process" and actions to achieve my goals of better self confidence and esteem; nothing is set in stone or can or will fly in through the bedroom window as if by some kind of magic. There is so much that I can do an I appreciate your help. Thank you.

Spent a fascinating day yesterday studying the Rewind Technqiue with Dr. David Muss. This technique originated in NLP for the treatment of phobias but has been honed down and intensified by David to a very effective technqiue for treating PTSD. You can see a demonstration of Dr Muss treating sufferers of nightmares, flashbacks and halluciations which haunt survivors after experiencing frightening life events like burglary, car accidents, rape sexual abuse, etc. on Youtube: http://youtu.be/GeSAqC5_JUg The Rewind treatment is the safest, fastest therapy around. Dr Muss, and those whom he has trained, have treated many different traumas. Visit the website http://www.artt.org.uk for more information. So many ,if not all of us, have experienced traumatic events which we know affect us but feel no one can do anything about. Dr Muss demonstrates that this is not true.

I am currently seeing a young woman for a needle phobia.  Phobias are very common and, of course, can relate to a wide range of triggers - flying, heights, spiders, birds, claustrophobia, dental and needle phobias to name but a few - and they can begin to severely limit the suffers life, sometime culminating in their being unable to leave the house.

My young client has been needle phobic for many years, unable even to look at pictures or watch injections or needles on screen.  This is now a serious problem for her as she has to undergo a minor medical procedure for a condition that is causing her great pain but is unable to have the necessary blood tests or, indeed, receive anaesthetic. 

She is desperate for help and, fortunately, there is a very simple and effective technique to deal with phobias.  This can usually be effective in one or two sessions.  With a really ingrained phobia - or a more complex mindset where one fear masks another - it may take more sessions, possibly up to four.

Don't let a phobia limit your life - check out the Hypnotherapy Directory http://www.hypnotherapy-directory.org.uk to find a trustworthy therapist near you.

I have just been listening to the Moral Maze on Radio 4. in the wake of the suicide of Frances Andrade.  The closing remarks struck a chord. Do victims of abuse have a moral obligation to “out” the abuser or testify?  My answer would be a definitive “NO”. 

 

A number of my clients have been abused, some of them horrifically, by both parents or other family members – or indeed strangers -  over many years.  Some have taken a decision to move on with their lives, put it behind them (and in some cases the abuse has been cruel and systematic) but the danger is past and why would they want to relive it all when, whilst it has shaped them, it is firmly in their past.   

For others the ramifications to their family, their children’s families and their wider environment would bring their whole world crashing down. They take the decision to take precautions to protect vulnerable family members where necessary but not to “out” the abuser and I have to respect that decision. 

So, some victims are more vulnerable than others.  We need to protect the innocent but we also have to respect the individual’s decision to testify or not to testify without apportioning blame. 

So many weeks seem to elapse without my adding to my blog.  The grey weather really dampens my spirits but a trip to Malta, the Olympics and the recent sunshine in London have really revived me. I am sure I am not the only person to find my mood reacts with the weather and doubt an artificial "sun light" wouldn't be a substitute.

Depression seems to be prevalent among my clients and, apart from the stresses of working life in the difficult economic times,  I feel the weather must also play a part.  Depressed clients lose hope that they will ever move forward and it is very difficult for them to find anything to be positive about.  They often have global impression of doom and gloom all around. 

It is important to help people to focus down onto very small things that might bring about change or lift their spirits - a small highlight in the next few days to look forward to can make a difference.  And writing down at the end of each day three good things that have happened is an excellent technique to adopt.  We know how easy it is to have one bad thing happen which then becomes the focus of our memory of a day.

So start today - appreciate 3 good things that have made you smile. Write them down so that they can be reviewed and boost your mood tomorrow and the day after.

Wise words.....

I was very touched indeed to receive an email from a recent client this morning.  She had been finding it hard to come to terms with a bereavement, and the quote at the end of her message really moved me, so I will share it with you:  "Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy."  Wise words to reflect on whenever we feel sad.

I am very ashamed to say that I have just hurt someone completely unintentionally.  It has made me very sad and also realise that I need to think a bit more carefully about the quick quip, sexy remark and throwaway line. 
I do find people fascinating and when I meet someone I feel is in need of support, then I know that I do reach out to them to see if I can help and that reaching out can, although I had not thought about it before, be misinterpreted. 
So, lesson learned, I hope, for the future. 

Just back from a wonderful month's trip to Australia, New Zealand and Langkawi.  I was feeling very nervous about leaving home for so long and touring for two weeks in a car around NZ but, in fact, we had a great time.  Throughout the trip we never had a bad meal or bottle of wine and met so many kind, helpful and cheerful people.  We enjoyed many unexpected little treats - two lovely meals in the Matheson Cafe, Fox Glacier (www.lakematheson.com), another good experience at the Pepper Tree in Coromandel (www.peppertreerestaurant.co.nz), an unforgettable time at the Aworoa Lodge in the Abel Tasman Park (http://www.awaroalodge.co.nz).  The highlight of our trip was a relaxing 4 nights on our way home at the Andaman, Langkawi where the staff were so friendly and helpful and the facilities excellent (http://www.theandaman.com). 
Just two downsides: a very disappointing two nights in the Pauanui Pines Motor Lodge on the Coromandel, where the relentless bonhomie of the owner did not make up for a small, cheaply furnished chalet squashed behind a high, thick hedge - certainly nothing like the pictures or description in their literature - and a nerve wracking boat ride on an "island hopping" tour arranged in Langkawi. 
In contrast we enjoyed an excursion to the mangroves, organised by www.junglewalla.com in conjunction with the Andaman hotel, and led by a very knowledgeable guide, Adam. We saw kingfishers, bats, snakes, fiddler crabs and mud skippers as well as magnificent sea eagles and Brahminy kites.
Back to reality now - wind, rain, work and the prospect of a chilly winter ahead but a bank of great memories to reflect on in the months ahead.

Just have to share a short comment from a client received this week: Thank you for seeing me today, José. You always were calming and I found the session to be just that.

Lovely feedback which I am delighted to receive.  I do wonder if my nearest and dearest would recognise me though! 

Just enjoyed another excellent Athena meeting at Foxhills.  I have been a member of this great networking association for about four years now.  Meetings are always interesting, supportive and full of fun and it has really boosted my business.  I can thoroughly recommend it.  The speaker today talked about converting leads to increase your business and gave some really practical tips.  At first it seemed my therapy practice was too small a business to benefit, but speaking to her personally after the meeting, she had some useful advice to give me.  I seldom leave an Athena meeting without some useful tips and always find my energy and enthusiasm have received a big boost.  It is so important to get out and meet like minded people, especially when you are working in isolation running a small business from home.  Check out your local branch at http://www.theathenanetwork.com/  I am sure it will be a rewarding experience.

Through my networking contacts in Athena I have had a video made - you can see it on youtube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=38fgVWTsehI.  It encapsulates my work and I am very grateful to the photographer and to the participants.  A real team effort and tremendous fun in the shooting.

And what worries me is, is it me or is it him?  Was it me who didn’t notice that the dishwasher tablet wrapper wouldn’t dissolve? After all, the last box we bought had dissolvable wrappers.  And how do you ever know what is reality?  Is my reality different from his, from other people’s?  How can we tell what is truth and what is fiction?  Am I programmed to remember totally different things or do we just perceive things – circumstances, events, conversations – in totally different ways in terms of our communication styles, life experiences, upbringing?  How can we ever know what is truth,  what is real, what is imagined?  I’m not sure that we can know.  And is that disturbing, frightening, enlightening?  Maybe we just have to accept it and adapt to it.  Thought for today.

So here we are again - back at work, back at school, chilly mornings and darkening evenings.  Memories of sunny days and summer holidays are fast fading and the same old, same old is back to dog our moods and dampen our spirits.  Old anxieties returning, depression even, as the winter stretches ahead of us.  Even if you don't have specific problem, it is easy to feel low at this time of year.
Now is the time to treat yourself to a relaxing session of hypnotherapy.  A session, which lasts and hour and costs £45, will help you to see the run up to Christmas in a more positive light, to plan in some treats and good things to look forward to through this busy period.
You can contact me via the website - www.mindtochange.co.uk or call me on 01483 769058 to book an appointment now.  You won't regret it. 

I have recently been seeing a 35 year old male client who presented at the first session with fear of flying.  He was about to fly to Europe for a wedding and felt he would be unable to get on the plane.  We did a simple fear of flying exercise but the next day he contacted me again, saying he had been unable to fly and he also felt that something from his childhood had been uncovered which he now urgently needed to address.  He described feeling as if he was being physically crushed.  He had a very stressful job, requiring him to be on call 24 hours a day and had gradually allowed his life to close down, cutting out exercise – particularly running, which he loves.  He had been to the GP who gave him a “fit note”, stating that he must only work normal hours with no on call duties.   

It seems that both his parents committed suicide when he was seven.  He and his brother went to live with their grandmother for a couple of years and were subsequently adopted into a very happy home.  He loves his adoptive parents and they are very encouraging and understanding.  His brother had a major breakdown a few years ago but is now doing well and shortly after putting them up for adoption, his grandmother developed Alzheimer’s disease and was lost to him. 

Over the years my client has been into drugs, had a number of periods of worrying completely groundlessly about his health – blindness, brain tumour – but he is now in a stable relationship and his life is on track.   

I taught him tapping to help with the anxiety and panic attacks and we did five hypnotherapy sessions, regressing to his childhood, comforting and releasing emotions, and generally relaxing, interspersed with counselling.  Initially he seemed to be getting worse, with increasing anxiety, troubled by dark thoughts, fearing death and finding it difficult to be in the present.  However, in the midst of it all, he managed to join a running club and start spinning classes with his partner.  His boss was supportive and the GP extended the “fit note”.   

In session seven he managed to say he forgave his birth parents and this certainly seemed to be the turning point for him.  By the 8^th session he had really turned a corner and, following a short holiday in the UK which he found very relaxing and enjoyable, he is feeling really good.  He has had no panic attacks for two months and is going back to on call duties gradually.  He is beginning to think about another holiday in Canada, where he has been several times and would really like to live.  

I felt really engaged by this client.  In the depths of despair still managed to get to see me and keep himself going, even though he was experiencing physical symptoms and severe panic attacks.  It is wonderful to see him come through safely and I wish him well.

I am really struggling at the moment with a severely anxious client.  We have done two excellent hypnotherapy sessions, with counselling in between, but he seems to be deteriorating rather than improving. 

He came initially with a fear of flying but it was almost immediately evident that this was a symptom of a much deeper seated anxiety.  He has had very difficult childhood experiences which are clearly now playing a part in his current terrified and anxious state.  He has stepped back from a very stressful job, but his system has been on 24 hour alert for so long, that it seems to have set itself to hyper vigilance and so far we have not managed to turn it down or off.  He is finding it almost impossible to enjoy the moment and is completely submerged in pointless and unfounded worries about the future. 

As is so often the case with such patients, it is only when their lives take a turn for the better and they have an opportunity to relax and enjoy life, that the anxieties surface.  It seems the body and mind get so used to being on watch 24 / 7 that they just cannot stand down and relax.

Fortunately his GP has been sensible and sympathetic and I am sure we will win through in the end.  I did feel some very valuable work was done in our last session that will have a benefit in the coming days.  Fingers crossed, at least.  He is such a very likely young man it makes me wish I really did have a magic wand in my toolbox to cure him instantly instead of going through the long and very, very painful process with him.

I am not a collector.  I don't think I have ever had a collection of anything in my life.  If you collect, you are ultimately exploited by the providers of the collectibles, it seems to me.  I do sometimes like to bring home something from a trip - an ornament, a picture, maybe just a pebble or shell to remind me - maybe that too is a form of collecting. 

I am a wanderer, a voyager, a butterfly, a "fly by the seat of my pants" type of person.  I react and create.  I have faith and intuition.  These reflections are in response to an article I have just read in The Garden magazine about foxgloves. I love foxgloves.  I played with them a a child, making thimbles and dolls cups, and came to no harm. We have wild ones in the garden now which pop up every year in different places, dappled pink and beautiful.  I wonder why one would want to collect dozens of different adaptations when there is so much to enjoy about the original.

Clients say my home is a haven of peace.  It is peaceful.  It is also wild, structured and calm.  Lots of contradictions perhaps, but for me the perfect place.  I have lived in this house now for longer than I have ever lived anywhere in my whole life - 18 years in July.  And whilst I used to enjoy settling in and adapting each new place, staying in one place has enabled me to develop it into somewhere where I can be completely relaxed and at peace with myself. 

A few years ago I was constantly making a statement about me, about my life, my achievements.  Now I am relaxed and content within myself and I hope I provide a peaceful, safe place for clients to find their own way to relax and resolve their problems.

Came back from the US completely chilled but it didn’t take long for life to kick back in. A couple of nights of poor sleep, piles of washing and another suitcase to pack and unpack.... maybe two short trips away were not a good idea right after crossing the Atlantic!

A great session of hypnotherapy with a willing and responsive client can be even more relaxing than a holiday, though, and that’s what I had today. Client so deep and so amazed at the feeling of comfort and relaxation that deep trance induces. As one of two clients have said to me recently, “You could bottle that”. Well, maybe not bottle it, but I can produce an individually tailored CD following a session to maintain the feeling of wellbeing and relaxation.

Treated a lovely young girl this afternoon for trichotillomania (hair pulling). Such a welcome relief after a week of last minute cancellations and difficult problems. So good to hear from two other clients from way back that just one hypnotherapy session each had dispelled frightening, nightly nightmares and alleviated cystitis. Feedback, good or bad, is often difficult to come by - if clients feel better, they tend to forget they had a problem in the first place! All set up now for a relaxing weekend and ready face next week's challenges......