One of my clients was killed last week in a road accident. I felt very sad as he was a genuine, caring man who had worked hard in his counselling sessions and was really beginning to feel positive again about his future. He clearly had a very good relationship with his wife and she was understandably devasted when she rang to give me the terrible news.
My immediate thought was to send her a card, but then all the issues of boundaries and confidentiality came flooding into my mind. I decided to go with my first reaction, however, and sent her a card, telling her that I knew my client loved her deeply and referred to her as "his rock". It was so much the right thing to do. She contacted me to tell me the card arrived at a particulary low moment and was a great help and comfort to her. I am so glad I went with my instincts and responded in this way.